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Asta s-a intamplat intr-o jumate de ora.
A WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.
A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
big boobs who owns a bar on a golf course
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't care!
1. Plimbati-va cu masina. Parcati la marginea drumului, puneti-va ochelarii de soare si scoateti pe geam uscatorul de par. Îndreptati-l catre masinile care vin din fata. Acum numarati cîti soferi franeaza brusc în fata voastra!
2. Reîncarcati automatul de cafea din biroul vostru cu cafea decofeinizata, timp de trei saptamani. Cînd toata lumea va fi depasit dependenta de cafea, schimbati-le cafeaua cu ESPRESSO.
3. Daca scoateti bani la ghiseul bancii la rubrica « scopul folosirii banilor » scrieti « pentru marijuana».
4. Cînd sînteti pe un coridor, sariti în loc sa mergeti. Apoi încercati sa numarati cîte persoane se uita la voi crucis!
5. Daca sînteti la restaurant si vreti sa comandati ceva, cereti « apa plata dietetica ».
6. Sunati-va prietenii cu cinci zile înainte sa mergeti la o petrecere si spuneti-le ca nu veti putea fi prezent din cauza unei dureri de cap.
7. Cînd scoateti bani de la ATM, apucati-va de strigat din toti rarunchii « Am castigat! Am castigat! »
8. Daca va aflati într-o gradina zoologica, luati-o brusc la fuga catre parcare strigand îngrozit « Salvati-va! Au scapat animalele! »
9. Daca aveti copii, la masa de seara spuneti-le ca din cauza recesiunii va trebui sa renuntati la ei!
10. La farmacie, cumparati o cutie cu prezervative si apoi intrebati farmacista unde e cabina de proba.
Dupa ce veti fi încercat toate cele zece puncte din aceasta lista, veti suferi de orice, mai putin de depresie!
Sursa: e-mail
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident, it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man; that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!, This must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. Then she hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."
Moral of the story:
Women are clever. Don't mess with them.